Whether you’re hoping to advance in your career or improve your relationships, good communication skills are key to success. Here are10 questions to ponder in order to be a better communicator:
What is my communication goal?
Before you initiate an important conversation, consider your short- and long-term goals as well as what action, information or commitment you want now and in the future.
Am I deliberate and conscious in how I communicate?
When speaking, the total impact of a message is about 7% verbal (words only), 38% vocal (including tone of voice, inflection and other sounds) and 55% nonverbal. (See related blog article about effective use of space for communication.) Be conscious and deliberate with your oral and written communication.
Do I know who my audience is?
Be aware of cultural/regional differences, potential disabilities, or knowledge deficits that may exist within your audience and tailor your message, style and substance accordingly.
Am I aware of my emotions when I communicate?
Think about your emotions and how appropriate they are for the situation to determine if you are prepared. In situations such as asking for a raise from your supervisor, it is important to be clear and unemotional and focus on communicating what you’ve been doing well. Conversely, if you are upset about something, choose a time when you can control your emotions to have a conversation. You can't communicate clearly and effectively when you are emotionally flooded.
What nonverbal message am I communicating?
Most of the messages we send other people when we are speaking are nonverbal. People form 60% to 80% of their initial opinion of a new person they’re meeting in fewer than four minutes, so your nonverbal messages count. How you sit or stand, your facial expressions and how you are dressed all send messages. Be intentional.
Am I an honest communicator?
Are you authentic in your communication? Do you state your needs and desires clearly? Do you communicate with integrity? The answer to all of these should be yes.
Am I listener focused?
Do you often use slang, idioms, acronyms, or technical jargon? Such language can exclude some or all of your audience. Be clear and concise in your communication and consider how the listener is following and comprehending your message.
How is my pace—do I talk too fast or too slow? Do I talk too much? Too little?
Consider the time it takes for the listener to absorb what you have said, and pause if needed. Remember, repetition is important when communicating key messages; people need to hear a message several times before they remember it. Don’t cram too much into your communication.
Am I a good listener?
Listening requires being present in the conversation; by clarifying what you think you have heard, asking follow-up questions, and not making assumptions you will be a better listener. Use interested body language- lean in, make eye contact, and for goodness sake don't keep looking at your cell phone or apple watch! It also means not formulating an answer while the other party is speaking, which is a skill that requires practice!
Do I consciously consider my timing?
Timing is important in communication. When to ask for a raise, when to deliver good or bad news, or when to discuss a difficult issue—the success or failure of these communications can depend on timing. In addition to your own emotional state, think about the other party in the communication and consider their state of mind and ability to focus when you choose to communicate something important.
Bottom line: Be MINDFUL of your own communication habits and conduct self-audits of how you are doing.
Feel free to reach out for communication coaching!
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